Gave birth, thoughts about manifesting
I gave birth on March 5th. It's a girl.
You know, it surprised me that in my last post that was some time ago, I was talking about how manifesting my wishes did not always end up making me happy. The results were just results.
I am getting my head around how this manifesting thing works. It's basically setting a goal in your subconscious mind, so that everything you do leads to that. It's no magic, it just makes sense if you think about it.
But as I get into it I realized that it's really not going to make me very happy unless I do some other work on myself. I got everything I set out to get, and I am unhappy with my marriage, my husband, and my job situation. I am unsure.
I bout couple of new books a youtuber recommended to fix this problem. But some lessons I learned on my own.
- Manifesting does work. So shoot high as I want, don't aim lower because you will get just that. If so...a question to myself: What will I ask for if I was sure I would get it?
- I need to keep journaling to understand what I want and which direction I want to take.
and I want to read those books.
Right now I am thinking, I want a stable job that helps me explore my curiosity all the time. but you know stability is a tricky thing. It might just be that fear stopping me from choosing whats good for me.
Also from 2015 to 2022, I think I was bipolar to some degree. I realized that an ongoing pattern was I would just feel super good about an idea, almost euphoric, and then in the afternoon my mood would kind of crash and did not have to energy to do anything. And it was really hard to get anything done in a steady pace, and realize my ideas. I did not realize it might have been a mood disorder because I felt just phyiscally fatigued all the time.